Triggers are distressing, and can strike without warning.

When you're dealing with the discovery or disclosure of sexual betrayal, deception, or active addiction, triggers are—sadly—unavoidable.

Some of the most common triggers for partners are:

• Sexual content in advertising and media

• Repeated disclosure of sexual infidelity, slips, or relapses

• Lack of accountability and deception

• Anything that reminds you of the betrayal

• Intrusive thoughts or memories

• Unwanted or unexpected contact with former affair partners of the unfaithful spouse

• Defensiveness, crazy-making, or "gaslighting" behaviors