In my book, Moving Beyond Betrayal: The 5-Step Boundary Solution for Partners of Sex Addicts, I talk about the “honesty problem” in early recovery for sex addicts (to read an excerpt from this section of the book visit my blog article here). Because deception and lying go hand-in-hand with all addictions—not just sex addiction—addicts must literally learn how… Continue Reading…
5 Things Addicts Should (& Shouldn’t) Say to Partners
Working with partners and sex addicts over the past 9 years, I’ve been told, and witnessed, many examples of successful—and less than successful—dialogues between addicts and partners. Successful couples’ conversations usually have the following characteristics: Listening with curiosity and openness Minimal defensiveness Willingness to attempt to understand the other person’s perspective (also known as empathy) The ability to admit being wrong… Continue Reading…
An Invitation From Grace
On this eve of Father’s Day 2016, I want to deliver an invitation from grace. Merriam-Webster defines grace as: unmerited divine assistance given humans for their regeneration or sanctification Have you ever been the recipient of grace? Have you received blessings, advantage, or favor even when you didn’t “deserve” it? You can probably guess where I’m headed…. Continue Reading…
Taming Triggers Solution — Step 5
Taming Triggers Solution Step 5: Tame Triggers Where You Have the Power (This post is part 6 of an 8-part series on Taming Triggers Solution for partners of sex addicts and survivors of infidelity. If you haven’t already read the first five posts, I highly recommend you begin here with Step 1 and complete the first four steps before proceeding… Continue Reading…
Beginning Anew & Rebuilding Trust
With just 3 days left in 2015, it’s the perfect time to think about new beginnings. When your life has been shattered by the discovery of betrayal and infidelity, it’s easy to lose hope or think that you will always feel the way you do now. The good news is that this difficult time is just… Continue Reading…
Are You Asking for Too Much . . . or Too Little?
In the early stages of discovery and disclosure, you may wonder, “will I ever trust again?” The simple answer is yes . . . but the path to trusting again is far from simple. When it comes to relationship repair and rehabilitation, the two most common mistakes partners of sex addicts make are taking an… Continue Reading…