In early January, I was honored to be the keynote speaker for the first annual Infidelity Survivors Anonymous Retreat here in Texas. During the Q&A Session on Saturday afternoon, one of the participants wanted to explore why she still gets triggered sometimes—even after many years of solid self-care, relationship healing, and boundary work. Like most… Continue Reading…
Partners, Triggers & “Adult” Entertainment
Sexually oriented businesses are intensely triggering to betrayed partners. Seeing a massage parlor, adult bookstore, strip club, or so-called modeling studio can bring on a panic attack. Partners often intentionally avoid driving or walking by one of these business establishments to manage their anxiety. While it’s completely understandable and natural to be triggered when being… Continue Reading…
One, Powerful Tool for Triggers
Triggers— an unavoidable consequence of chronic sexual betrayal—are emotionally and physically distressing. Triggers strike without warning and may become debilitating or develop into depression and isolation. Most partners I’ve worked with have changed at least some of their daily routines and habits due to the painful impact of triggers brought on by sexual betrayal. In the first 6 to 9 months… Continue Reading…
Mindfulness for Triggers
Not that long ago, mindfulness was something exotic and strange. Now it’s emerged from obscurity into mainstream culture. Research has shown that mindfulness is effective for a variety of issues including ADHD, chronic pain, depression, and anxiety. I was first introduced to meditation and mindfulness in the late 80s when I took my first yoga class with… Continue Reading…
5 Best Practices for the “Care & Maintenance” of Triggers
So now that you’ve finished the 7 steps of the Taming Triggers Solution Process, as well as knowing what to do if — despite your best efforts — triggers don’t go away, what now? First, I want to assure you that triggers DO go away! The speed at which your triggers will become more manageable… Continue Reading…
When Triggers Don’t Stop
If you’ve completed the 7 steps of the Taming Triggers Solution process, congratulations! If you’ve just arrived here and you’re not sure where to start — but want to know more about how to manage the triggers that are an unavoidable consequence of sexual betrayal, active addiction, and deception — start here with Step 1 of Taming Triggers… Continue Reading…
Taming Triggers Solution — Step 7
Taming Triggers Solution Step 7: Tools for Unavoidable Triggers (This post is part 8 of an 8-part series on Taming Triggers Solution for partners of sex addicts and survivors of infidelity. If you haven’t already read the first seven posts, I highly recommend you begin here with Step 1 and complete the first six steps before proceeding to Step 7.)… Continue Reading…