This article is the second of a 2-part series outlining an amends-making process for sex addicts, known as emotional restitution. Read Emotional Restitution [For Addicts] Part 1 here. The information is adapted from the work of Patrick Carnes, PhD as presented in his workbook, The 90-Day Prep, in the Recovery Start Kit: A 100-day Plan for Addiction Recovery. Part 5 Acknowledge Image… Continue Reading…
5 Barriers to Better Boundaries
Last month, one of the therapists in my Moving Beyond Betrayal Online Course for Clinicians & Coaches shared with me that one of her biggest challenges in supporting partners with their boundary work is not the actual boundary setting, but rather the follow-through after the boundary is set. Following through may mean doing what you said you would… Continue Reading…
One, Powerful Tool for Triggers
Triggers— an unavoidable consequence of chronic sexual betrayal—are emotionally and physically distressing. Triggers strike without warning and may become debilitating or develop into depression and isolation. Most partners I’ve worked with have changed at least some of their daily routines and habits due to the painful impact of triggers brought on by sexual betrayal. In the first 6 to 9 months… Continue Reading…
Partners, Addicts & Empathy
I heard a beautiful story the other day that reminded me of the power of empathy in relationships impacted by sex addiction. An addict with several years of sobriety—in recovery for more than 10 years—came home from his weekly meeting with his sponsor. He’s been working through the 12 steps again, and was finishing his work on Step 9—Made direct amends to… Continue Reading…
Let Go of These 5 Things Before the New Year
I hope you’re having a wonderful holiday season! With the New Year fast approaching, I want to invite you to step into 2017 a little lighter — in your heart and soul. It’s a simple fact that in the first one to two years post-discovery or disclosure, partners of sex addicts carry a number of burdens:… Continue Reading…
Did I “Fail” if My Relationship Ends?
If you’ve been in a relationship that didn’t work out — and most of us have — you may feel like you failed. It’s common for people who go through divorce to feel as though they failed, or that their relationship was a failure. What if your relationship with the sex addict didn’t —or doesn’t — work… Continue Reading…
Interview with CaroltheCoach – Boundaries for Partners of Sex Addicts
This past Monday I had the honor of being interviewed on Carol Juergensen Sheets’ Blog Talk Radio Show (Strength-Hope-Recovery) talking about Boundaries for Partners of Sex Addicts. Lots of great information, including the 8 best practices for long-term success for couples impacted by sex addiction. Click here to listen to the whole show. _______________________ If you’d… Continue Reading…