After my last post, It All Starts with Self-Care, a blog follower wanted to know whether a one-time affair is the same as sex addiction, and what to do when you’re facing an affair — what are the steps to take both individually and as a couple? I get questions like these all the time…. Continue Reading…
5 Signs It May Be an Emotional Affair
A blog follower recently left a comment on my article, Turning Complaints Into Requests, asking me to define “emotional affair.” It’s a good question. You may have a sense that you know an emotional affair when you see one, but couples sometimes disagree about whether or not a certain relationship was—or is—an emotional affair. Betrayed partners… Continue Reading…
Why You Should Avoid Staggered Disclosure
Staggered disclosure is an unfortunate—yet extremely common—experience for betrayed partners. Staggered disclosure is when a betrayed partner receives repeated and incomplete information about her spouse’s unfaithful actions or sexual acting out either directly from him (or her) or indirectly through intentional or unintentional discovery. For example, her spouse may tell her a story about a particular… Continue Reading…
Your Survive & Thrive Blueprint for Healing
A wise and thoughtful betrayed partner once asked me: What are the most important things betrayed partners need to do to heal? What a great question. Surviving and eventually thriving (yes, it is absolutely possible!) after chronic sexual betrayal is a complicated and harrowing journey. There are no simple, cookie-cutter, one-size-fits-all answers for every partner…. Continue Reading…
5 Spiritual Lessons From Waze
Sometimes spiritual lessons come from the most unexpected places. I’ve been using the navigation app Waze for a couple of years now. If you’re not familiar with Waze, it’s “the world’s largest community-based traffic and navigation app,” according to its website. The more I use Waze, the more I see the many spiritual and recovery lessons… Continue Reading…
3 Reasons NOT to Share Consequences
Betrayed partners often want to know whether they should share with their spouse the consequence they plan to follow through with when they set a boundary. When thinking about responses to boundary problems or violations, it’s important to remember that boundaries are not something you impose on another person. However, you can create boundaries around… Continue Reading…
A Guide to Betrayed Partner Impact Statements
One of the partners in my Moving Beyond Betrayal Boundaries Course recently asked my opinion about betrayed partners writing an impact statement. If you’re not familiar with impact statements, they are a written document drafted by a betrayed partner—with the guidance and support of her or his therapist—that is eventually read to the unfaithful spouse, preferably in… Continue Reading…