Sometimes spiritual lessons come from the most unexpected places. I’ve been using the navigation app Waze for a couple of years now. If you’re not familiar with Waze, it’s “the world’s largest community-based traffic and navigation app,” according to its website. The more I use Waze, the more I see the many spiritual and recovery lessons… Continue Reading…
3 Reasons NOT to Share Consequences
Betrayed partners often want to know whether they should share with their spouse the consequence they plan to follow through with when they set a boundary. When thinking about responses to boundary problems or violations, it’s important to remember that boundaries are not something you impose on another person. However, you can create boundaries around… Continue Reading…
A Guide to Betrayed Partner Impact Statements
One of the partners in my Moving Beyond Betrayal Boundaries Course recently asked my opinion about betrayed partners writing an impact statement. If you’re not familiar with impact statements, they are a written document drafted by a betrayed partner—with the guidance and support of her or his therapist—that is eventually read to the unfaithful spouse, preferably in… Continue Reading…
The ONE Belief Every Betrayed Partner Must Embrace
In early January, I was honored to be the keynote speaker for the first annual Infidelity Survivors Anonymous Retreat here in Texas. During the Q&A Session on Saturday afternoon, one of the participants wanted to explore why she still gets triggered sometimes—even after many years of solid self-care, relationship healing, and boundary work. Like most… Continue Reading…
Should You Hire a Hacker or Learn Boundaries?
When you’re a therapist or coach specializing in working with people impacted by problems with sexuality or sexual issues, it’s inevitable that from time to time you get some—shall we say—interesting calls, texts, emails, and blog comments. A couple of weeks ago, I got this referral to a hacker: Hello, if you need a hacker… Continue Reading…
When Your Spouse Won’t Talk About His Therapy
Over the years, I’ve heard from a number of betrayed partners that their spouse won’t share anything about his therapy, despite being asked how their session went or what he/she is working on. To be fair, there are some very good reasons for a person not to share everything they talk about in therapy, or… Continue Reading…
How Could He Love Me and Cheat?
If you’ve been betrayed—especially more than once—chances are you’ve asked this exact question. I’ve heard it so many times I wonder why I haven’t written about it on the blog before now. It makes perfect sense that in the middle of pain, heartache, and disappointment a betrayed partner would think, If he loved me, he… Continue Reading…