Triggers— an unavoidable consequence of chronic sexual betrayal—are emotionally and physically distressing. Triggers strike without warning and may become debilitating or develop into depression and isolation. Most partners I’ve worked with have changed at least some of their daily routines and habits due to the painful impact of triggers brought on by sexual betrayal. In the first 6 to 9 months… Continue Reading…
Verify . . . for Trust
In my book, Moving Beyond Betrayal: The 5-Step Boundary Solution for Partners of Sex Addicts, I talk about the “honesty problem” in early recovery for sex addicts (to read an excerpt from this section of the book visit my blog article here). Because deception and lying go hand-in-hand with all addictions—not just sex addiction—addicts must literally learn how… Continue Reading…
An Invitation From Grace
On this eve of Father’s Day 2016, I want to deliver an invitation from grace. Merriam-Webster defines grace as: unmerited divine assistance given humans for their regeneration or sanctification Have you ever been the recipient of grace? Have you received blessings, advantage, or favor even when you didn’t “deserve” it? You can probably guess where I’m headed…. Continue Reading…
Change Happens
If you find yourself despairing—wondering if things will ever change, here’s a story of transformation . . . and hope. The photo to the left tells a beautiful tale that’s not apparent without the backstory. This unassuming building is a new restaurant—The Pit Room Handcrafted Barbecue—still under construction directly across the street from my office building… Continue Reading…
Your Future is Not Your Past
In less than 6 weeks (May 10), my upcoming book Moving Beyond Betrayal: The 5-Step Boundary Solution for Partners of Sex Addicts will be released. It’s available now for pre-order on Amazon here. As you can imagine, I’m excited! The support the book has received from colleagues, clients, and friends has been truly heart-warming. Over the next… Continue Reading…
Gratitude
Inspired by Marie Kondo’s best-selling books The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up and Spark Joy, I’ve been doing some spring cleaning. Going through my collection of books, I found two Sarah Ban Breathnach journals (Simple Abundance Journal of Gratitude) I kept more than 15 years ago. These simple journals are intended to be for recording a list… Continue Reading…
When Triggers Don’t Stop
If you’ve completed the 7 steps of the Taming Triggers Solution process, congratulations! If you’ve just arrived here and you’re not sure where to start — but want to know more about how to manage the triggers that are an unavoidable consequence of sexual betrayal, active addiction, and deception — start here with Step 1 of Taming Triggers… Continue Reading…