Even in the best of times, holidays can be challenging. Family dynamics, pressure to conform to cultural, religious, or family norms, and the holiday culture of excess can leave you feeling anxious and stressed. And for betrayed partners, there are other challenges — often hidden — that make the holidays even more challenging, and painful…. Continue Reading…
How Long Should it Take to Prepare a Disclosure?
Last week, one of the members of my Partner’s Healing & Empowerment Online Community Forum asked this question: How long should it take for a sex addict to prepare a disclosure to present to his partner? If you’re not familiar with the disclosure process, you can read my article about formal therapeutic disclosure (FTD) here. Briefly, FTD is… Continue Reading…
Understanding Sobriety (and Couples Check-Ins) in “S” Recovery
One of the members of my Partner’s Healing & Empowerment Online Community recently asked a great question that I think many partners would like to know the answer to, so I decided to answer—and expand on the topic—here on the blog. The essence of the question was: When doing a weekly couples recovery check-in, what sobriety date… Continue Reading…
An Invitation From Grace
On this eve of Father’s Day 2016, I want to deliver an invitation from grace. Merriam-Webster defines grace as: unmerited divine assistance given humans for their regeneration or sanctification Have you ever been the recipient of grace? Have you received blessings, advantage, or favor even when you didn’t “deserve” it? You can probably guess where I’m headed…. Continue Reading…
Are You Sabotaging the Addict’s Recovery?
If you’re like most partners, you want the addict in your life to get sober and embrace recovery. The thought of jeopardizing or sabotaging the addict’s recovery may seem unthinkable to you. Unfortunately, many partners do sabotage the addict’s recovery — usually without realizing it. To be clear, you are not responsible for the addict’s recovery. He (or… Continue Reading…
Formal Therapeutic Disclosure
(The information contained in this post is for informational purposes only. Because of the serious nature of the disclosure process and the significant potential for harm due to improper use, this information should be used only in the context of a therapeutic process facilitated by a mental health professional trained in the use of formal therapeutic… Continue Reading…
Basics of First-Year Sex Addiction Recovery
It’s important for partners to have a basic understanding of the recovery process. I sometimes find that without this information partners tend to expect or ask either too little or too much from the sex addict. As I discussed in my post what sets sex addiction apart, sex addiction recovery is different than most other addictions where abstaining from… Continue Reading…