Discovering that your spouse had an affair is painful enough. But finding out that the affair partner is a co-worker, supervisor, or employee can be doubly devastating. Imagine your spouse leaving each day to go to work, and the feelings of powerlessness—knowing that he will spend the majority of his day with a former affair… Continue Reading…
Let Go of These 5 Things Before the New Year
I hope you’re having a wonderful holiday season! With the New Year fast approaching, I want to invite you to step into 2017 a little lighter — in your heart and soul. It’s a simple fact that in the first one to two years post-discovery or disclosure, partners of sex addicts carry a number of burdens:… Continue Reading…
Can I (Partners + Addicts) Ask for THAT?
I just finished up the sixth Live Q&A Call with members of my Partner’s Healing & Empowerment Online Community Forum a couple of hours ago. One of the members submitted this question for me to answer on the call: “Is it okay to ask an addict to sell a car, furniture, or even a home if… Continue Reading…
My Partner Ignored My Request—What Should I Do?
Happy Labor Day to my US and Canadian Friends! I was recently asked this question by a partner in my international online community (Partner’s Healing & Empowerment Online Forum): I made a request of my (sex addict) partner, and he never gave me answer. In the meantime, the requests I made have become requirements for… Continue Reading…
My “Failure” and Why You Should Increase Your NOs
It’s funny about failure stories. Most of us try to hide our failures, but they’re the stories everyone most likes to hear. What I love most about failure stories is that they’re almost always about learning or redemption. It’s a mistake to think of events or circumstances that don’t go our way as failures. For example, when someone… Continue Reading…
Requests, Demands & Ultimatums
If you want to learn how to practice great self-care through using effective boundaries, you’ll need to understand the difference between requests, demands, and ultimatums. Let’s start with the formal, dictionary definitions: Request an act of asking politely or formally for something Demand a forceful statement in which you say that something must be done… Continue Reading…