Every now and then a new tool for recovery and trust-building comes along, and I’m pleased to introduce you to one today! As you know, deception is one of the hallmarks of addictive behavior. And to make matters worse, if a person who struggles with addiction grew up in a family where lying and deception… Continue Reading…
4 Truths That Unite Couples After Infidelity
Wednesday night I had the privilege of attending a talk by Dan Rather about his most recent book, What Unites Us: Reflections on Patriotism. After a storied career spanning more than six decades, interviewing every president since Eisenhower, and anchoring the CBS Evening News for 24 years, it was encouraging to hear him say: If… Continue Reading…
When an Affair Partner is a Co-Worker
Discovering that your spouse had an affair is painful enough. But finding out that the affair partner is a co-worker, supervisor, or employee can be doubly devastating. Imagine your spouse leaving each day to go to work, and the feelings of powerlessness—knowing that he will spend the majority of his day with a former affair… Continue Reading…
Should You Contact a Former Affair Partner?
Occasionally, an unfaithful spouse or betrayed partner asks, “Should I contact a former affair partner?” Reasons for wanting to contact a former affair partner include: Wanting to establish a boundary that you (the unfaithful spouse) don’t want further contact—provided you haven’t already made this clear to the affair partner. Making a request of some kind, such as asking… Continue Reading…
Verify . . . for Trust
In my book, Moving Beyond Betrayal: The 5-Step Boundary Solution for Partners of Sex Addicts, I talk about the “honesty problem” in early recovery for sex addicts (to read an excerpt from this section of the book visit my blog article here). Because deception and lying go hand-in-hand with all addictions—not just sex addiction—addicts must literally learn how… Continue Reading…
“Slips” & Intimacy + 4 Tips for Addicts
One of my favorite definitions of intimacy comes from the work of Pia Mellody. Pia defines intimacy as: The experience of knowing—and being known by—another person. We can know another person in many ways—intellectually, emotionally, physically, sexually, and spiritually. And intimacy can be experienced on each of these levels. Our boundaries determine how close we… Continue Reading…
When Boundaries are Broken
This post is Part 5 of a 6-week series celebrating the release of my upcoming book Moving Beyond Betrayal: The 5-Step Boundary Solution for Partners of Sex Addicts. Each week I’ll share an excerpt from the manuscript, along with one of the book’s endorsements. This week’s excerpt is from Chapter 8, entitled Evaluate Your Results—Mission… Continue Reading…