Discovering that you’ve been betrayed or deceived is devastating. Discovery is disorienting, and creates feelings of uncertainty about yourself, your spouse, and your life. To make sense of the new information you’ve received and to seek a sense of safety, some of the most common activities partners engage in immediately after discovery are: Searching phone… Continue Reading…
The Daily Transparency: A Tool for Rebuilding Trust
Every now and then a new tool for recovery and trust-building comes along, and I’m pleased to introduce you to one today! As you know, deception is one of the hallmarks of addictive behavior. And to make matters worse, if a person who struggles with addiction grew up in a family where lying and deception… Continue Reading…
The Invisible Costs of Betrayal
Every betrayed partner knows that discovery, disclosure, and healing from chronic infidelity come at a cost. The shock, pain, and devastation of betrayal are immense, and their impact reverberates in every area of a partner’s life — including her physical health, her trust in her reality or thoughts, her emotional stability, and her spiritual life…. Continue Reading…
Is It Intuition or Paranoia?
A couple of months ago in one of my quarterly Clarity Circle Live Q&A Calls, a partner asked this excellent question: How do I know the difference between an intuition or paranoia? My husband is really trying, but I am struggling to trust him because he’s lied so well in the past … This partner… Continue Reading…
Your Roadmap for Healing [Part 2]
After my last post, It All Starts with Self-Care, a blog follower wanted to know whether a one-time affair is the same as sex addiction, and what to do when you’re facing an affair — what are the steps to take both individually and as a couple? I get questions like these all the time…. Continue Reading…
4 Ways Your Boundaries Help Your Loved Ones
Did you know that your boundaries actually help your loved ones? It’s true. If you’ve ever tried to set boundaries with someone, you were probably on the receiving end of exasperated sighs, eye-rolls, complaining, pushback, or maybe even outright hostility. These types of responses — or reactions— may have caused you to think you were… Continue Reading…
Is There Hope for Couples Long-Term?
Over the years, many betrayed partners have asked me: Is it really possible for a couple to survive chronic betrayal long-term? Or a partner will send me an email desperately wanting to know if there is hope. She may ask if I know a partner who is still in her marriage that she can connect… Continue Reading…