Do unfaithful spouses deserve respect? If your immediate response is “Not a chance,” my mission is to change your mind in the few minutes it will take to read this article. Why? Because, as my mentor Pia Mellody is fond of saying: Respect is the minimum of love Yes, that’s right. Even when you’ve been… Continue Reading…
Are You Codependent?
I love when blog readers and subscribers ask me to write on a topic that’s of interest to them. One blog subscriber recently asked me to talk about codependency. She was feeling confused about codependency because on the one hand she relates to the concept, but other partners she knows say they don’t. She had… Continue Reading…
“Slips” & Intimacy + 4 Tips for Addicts
One of my favorite definitions of intimacy comes from the work of Pia Mellody. Pia defines intimacy as: The experience of knowing—and being known by—another person. We can know another person in many ways—intellectually, emotionally, physically, sexually, and spiritually. And intimacy can be experienced on each of these levels. Our boundaries determine how close we… Continue Reading…
Winning & Losing
[Article originally published on November 16, 2016.) Dear U.S. Friends, we are in the midst of an historical and epic moment in time. The Presidential Election was a massive, national, high-stakes competition. And like all competitions, there are Winners and Losers. It’s worth taking a moment here to remember that in healthy relationships between two people… Continue Reading…
4 Reasons You Need to Understand Your Childhood Story
Once you’re past the initial shock of discovering your spouse has been chronically unfaithful, you may ask, “How did I get here? I want to understand how I ended up in this situation.” There is no one-size-fits-all answer to this question. And before delving into a partner’s trauma history pre-discovery or disclosure, it’s imperative to keep in mind that… Continue Reading…
Your Future is Not Your Past
In less than 6 weeks (May 10), my upcoming book Moving Beyond Betrayal: The 5-Step Boundary Solution for Partners of Sex Addicts will be released. It’s available now for pre-order on Amazon here. As you can imagine, I’m excited! The support the book has received from colleagues, clients, and friends has been truly heart-warming. Over the next… Continue Reading…
Gratitude
Inspired by Marie Kondo’s best-selling books The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up and Spark Joy, I’ve been doing some spring cleaning. Going through my collection of books, I found two Sarah Ban Breathnach journals (Simple Abundance Journal of Gratitude) I kept more than 15 years ago. These simple journals are intended to be for recording a list… Continue Reading…