Periods of separation in long-term relationships can be healing, illuminating, and even necessary—not just in relationships impacted by chronic sexual betrayal. In my article 7 Key Components of a “Therapeutic” Separation Agreement, I outlined the fundamentals of a therapeutic separation agreement for couples who are living in two separate residences. However, there are times when… Continue Reading…
The ONE Belief Every Betrayed Partner Must Embrace
In early January, I was honored to be the keynote speaker for the first annual Infidelity Survivors Anonymous Retreat here in Texas. During the Q&A Session on Saturday afternoon, one of the participants wanted to explore why she still gets triggered sometimes—even after many years of solid self-care, relationship healing, and boundary work. Like most… Continue Reading…
Should You Hire a Hacker or Learn Boundaries?
When you’re a therapist or coach specializing in working with people impacted by problems with sexuality or sexual issues, it’s inevitable that from time to time you get some—shall we say—interesting calls, texts, emails, and blog comments. A couple of weeks ago, I got this referral to a hacker: Hello, if you need a hacker… Continue Reading…
When Your Spouse Won’t Talk About His Therapy
Over the years, I’ve heard from a number of betrayed partners that their spouse won’t share anything about his therapy, despite being asked how their session went or what he/she is working on. To be fair, there are some very good reasons for a person not to share everything they talk about in therapy, or… Continue Reading…
How Could He Love Me and Cheat?
If you’ve been betrayed—especially more than once—chances are you’ve asked this exact question. I’ve heard it so many times I wonder why I haven’t written about it on the blog before now. It makes perfect sense that in the middle of pain, heartache, and disappointment a betrayed partner would think, If he loved me, he… Continue Reading…
Is Your Partner Holding You Accountable, or Just Taking Your Inventory?
Since it’s the start of a brand new year, what better time to talk about accountability! Accountability is: the fact or condition of being accountable; responsibility Being accountable—or taking responsibility for your actions—is a core relationship skill, second only to being truthful and honest. A member of my Survive & Thrive Online Community recently asked me… Continue Reading…
When Battling Infidelity, Choose a Worthy Opponent
I love this quote: Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle. No one is sure of the original author, but it’s been attributed to Philo of Alexandria, Plato, Ian MacLaren, and John Watson. Nonetheless, it’s a powerful message—especially for survivors of chronic infidelity or a spouse’s addiction. Betrayed partners fight a… Continue Reading…