First, I want to say “thank you” to all of you who have thanked me over the years for my work on behalf of betrayed partners. In the past year, I have become clearer about where I want to focus my efforts and who I want to serve, which is something I encourage every person… Continue Reading…
5 Ways to Deprive the Past of Oxygen
Discovering that you’ve been betrayed or deceived is devastating. Discovery is disorienting, and creates feelings of uncertainty about yourself, your spouse, and your life. To make sense of the new information you’ve received and to seek a sense of safety, some of the most common activities partners engage in immediately after discovery are: Searching phone… Continue Reading…
The Daily Transparency: A Tool for Rebuilding Trust
Every now and then a new tool for recovery and trust-building comes along, and I’m pleased to introduce you to one today! As you know, deception is one of the hallmarks of addictive behavior. And to make matters worse, if a person who struggles with addiction grew up in a family where lying and deception… Continue Reading…
Is It Intuition or Paranoia?
A couple of months ago in one of my quarterly Clarity Circle Live Q&A Calls, a partner asked this excellent question: How do I know the difference between an intuition or paranoia? My husband is really trying, but I am struggling to trust him because he’s lied so well in the past … This partner… Continue Reading…
Your Roadmap for Healing [Part 2]
After my last post, It All Starts with Self-Care, a blog follower wanted to know whether a one-time affair is the same as sex addiction, and what to do when you’re facing an affair — what are the steps to take both individually and as a couple? I get questions like these all the time…. Continue Reading…
When Your Spouse Objectifies in Public [Part 2]
In Part I of When Your Spouse Objectifies in Public, I talked about the painful experience many betrayed partners face when they are out in public with their spouse, and they have the perception that their spouse is objectifying other people. (If you haven’t read Part I, get the whole article here.) Here in Part… Continue Reading…
Do These 7 Things Before Ending Therapeutic Separation
In my article, 7 Key Components of a “Therapeutic” Separation Agreement, I covered the key elements that should be included in any therapeutic separation agreement. The 7 components are: Length of separation Who will leave the home Access to the home Communication Household/childcare matters Goals for reintegration Post-reintegration agreements While each of these is vital… Continue Reading…