![Emotional Restitution [For Addicts] – Part 2](https://i1.wp.com/vickitidwellpalmer.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/04/amendsrestitution.png?fit=300%2C300&ssl=1)
This article is the second of a 2-part series outlining an amends-making process for sex addicts, known as emotional restitution. Read Emotional Restitution [For Addicts] Part 1 here. The information is adapted from the work of Patrick Carnes, PhD as presented in his workbook, The 90-Day Prep, in the Recovery Start Kit: A 100-day Plan for Addiction Recovery. Part 5 Acknowledge Image… Continue Reading…
Emotional Restitution [For Addicts] – Part I
(This article is the first of a 2-part series outlining an amends-making process for sex addicts, known as emotional restitution. The information is adapted from the work of Patrick Carnes, PhD as presented in his workbook, The 90-Day Prep, in the Recovery Start Kit: A 100-day Plan for Addiction Recovery.) Restitution: the restoration of something lost or stolen to its… Continue Reading…
5 Essentials for Healing
A few days ago, a partner in my Moving Beyond Betrayal Partner’s Boundaries Course asked me what are the most important things betrayed partners need to do to heal? What a great question. While it’s impossible to give a simple, cookie-cutter, one-size-fits-all answer, there are very specific actions partners can take, tools they can learn,… Continue Reading…
What to Tell the Children?
Most parents—whether they’ve been impacted by addiction or not—struggle to talk to their children about sex. The infamous “birds and bees” talk is the source of endless jokes and secret discomfort for parents who fear they haven’t done enough to educate their children about their bodies or human sexuality. So when addicts and their partners want to… Continue Reading…
One, Powerful Tool for Triggers
Triggers— an unavoidable consequence of chronic sexual betrayal—are emotionally and physically distressing. Triggers strike without warning and may become debilitating or develop into depression and isolation. Most partners I’ve worked with have changed at least some of their daily routines and habits due to the painful impact of triggers brought on by sexual betrayal. In the first 6 to 9 months… Continue Reading…
Partners, Addicts & Empathy
I heard a beautiful story the other day that reminded me of the power of empathy in relationships impacted by sex addiction. An addict with several years of sobriety—in recovery for more than 10 years—came home from his weekly meeting with his sponsor. He’s been working through the 12 steps again, and was finishing his work on Step 9—Made direct amends to… Continue Reading…
“Slips” & Intimacy + 4 Tips for Addicts
One of my favorite definitions of intimacy comes from the work of Pia Mellody. Pia defines intimacy as: The experience of knowing—and being known by—another person. We can know another person in many ways—intellectually, emotionally, physically, sexually, and spiritually. And intimacy can be experienced on each of these levels. Our boundaries determine how close we… Continue Reading…