Betrayed partners often want to know whether they should share with their spouse the consequence they plan to follow through with when they set a boundary. When thinking about responses to boundary problems or violations, it’s important to remember that boundaries are not something you impose on another person. However, you can create boundaries around… Continue Reading…
Negotiating Non-Negotiables [for Addicts] Part 2
![Negotiating Non-Negotiables [for Addicts] Part 2](https://i2.wp.com/vickitidwellpalmer.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/negotiate-non-negotiable.png?fit=300%2C300&ssl=1)
[Read Negotiating Non-Negotiables for Addicts Part 1 here.] Of all the topics I cover on my blog, non-negotiable boundaries tends to push the most buttons—for betrayed partners and unfaithful spouses alike. Betrayed partners sometimes mis-use non-negotiables to gain a sense of safety or control. Or they use them as a way to avoid the painful… Continue Reading…
Negotiating Non-Negotiables [for Addicts]
Boundaries—the foundation of safety and protection—are vital to anyone who has survived betrayal trauma. And the most powerful boundaries are those that are non-negotiable. Non-negotiable boundaries are: Something you must have or something you can’t tolerate in order to stay in a relationship. Non-negotiable boundaries are relationship deal-breakers. Survivors of betrayal trauma are eager to establish… Continue Reading…
My Partner Ignored My Request—What Should I Do?
Happy Labor Day to my US and Canadian Friends! I was recently asked this question by a partner in my international online community (Partner’s Healing & Empowerment Online Forum): I made a request of my (sex addict) partner, and he never gave me answer. In the meantime, the requests I made have become requirements for… Continue Reading…
“No” Means “No”
I hope I’ve got your attention. This is a serious topic. Working with partners of sex addicts over the years, I’ve been truly disheartened by the number of times partners have shared with me that the sex addict in their life has been sexual with them without their permission. Non-consensual sexual touch (including intercourse) in… Continue Reading…
Non-Negotiable Boundaries
When you begin the process of identifying, creating, and maintaining boundaries, you’ll inevitably be introduced to the concept of non-negotiable boundaries. What is a “non-negotiable” boundary? By definition, a non-negotiable boundary is a boundary that is not open to discussion or modification. Another way to think of non-negotiable boundaries are that they’re something you must have… Continue Reading…
Boundaries 101
Learning about and practicing healthy boundaries in relationship is challenging. In my article, Creating Your Haven of Safety I discussed the four types of boundaries and how they operate. The four primary boundaries are: Physical Sexual Talking Listening Boundaries are the practice of creating physical (including sexual), intellectual, emotional and spiritual safety through protecting ourselves and others. At the extremes of… Continue Reading…