If you’ve been betrayed—especially more than once—chances are you’ve asked this exact question. I’ve heard it so many times I wonder why I haven’t written about it on the blog before now. It makes perfect sense that in the middle of pain, heartache, and disappointment a betrayed partner would think, If he loved me, he… Continue Reading…
4 Truths That Unite Couples After Infidelity
Wednesday night I had the privilege of attending a talk by Dan Rather about his most recent book, What Unites Us: Reflections on Patriotism. After a storied career spanning more than six decades, interviewing every president since Eisenhower, and anchoring the CBS Evening News for 24 years, it was encouraging to hear him say: If… Continue Reading…
How Infidelity Feeds Self-Objectification [and What to Do About It]
![How Infidelity Feeds Self-Objectification [and What to Do About It]](https://i2.wp.com/vickitidwellpalmer.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/10/Declare-Your-Authentic-Beauty-2.png?fit=300%2C300&ssl=1)
Last night I hosted a free online presentation about how betrayed partners can use specific skills and tools to manage the inevitable triggers that go hand-in-hand with the discovery or disclosure of sexual betrayal. There were more than 70 partners in attendance, and when we got to the Q&A portion of the presentation, there were… Continue Reading…
Accountability is Sexy
Do you remember the last time you told your spouse that something they did wasn’t working for you? Or maybe you made a request for a minor change of behavior (like spending more time connecting and less time on devices), and you got a less than positive response? Sadly, this is more the norm than… Continue Reading…
Protect Your Confidence—4 Ways
Sexual betrayal has a way of destroying—at least temporarily—a partner’s confidence. Confidence is defined as: The feeling or belief that one can rely on someone or something; firm trust. It’s interesting that confidence is related to trust. And in the case of self-confidence, that means you have the feeling or belief that you can rely… Continue Reading…
Facing Fear
Fear—as an emotion— is part of everyday life. From mundane experiences like driving down the freeway, going to a dreaded medical appointment, or applying for a new job, the variety of experiences and situations that bring up fear are endless. Although uncomfortable, fear is a helpful emotion. Gavin de Becker wrote a wonderful book entitled… Continue Reading…
5 Things Addicts Should (& Shouldn’t) Say to Partners
Working with partners and sex addicts over the past 9 years, I’ve been told, and witnessed, many examples of successful—and less than successful—dialogues between addicts and partners. Successful couples’ conversations usually have the following characteristics: Listening with curiosity and openness Minimal defensiveness Willingness to attempt to understand the other person’s perspective (also known as empathy) The ability to admit being wrong… Continue Reading…