I love when blog readers and subscribers ask me to write on a topic that’s of interest to them. One blog subscriber recently asked me to talk about codependency. She was feeling confused about codependency because on the one hand she relates to the concept, but other partners she knows say they don’t. She had… Continue Reading…
Are You Living from the Inside Out?
Do you spend more time wondering whether other people like—or love—you than asking whether or not you like—or love—them? When making decisions about what you wear, the kind of car you drive, where you live, or even where you go for dinner, do you consider first what other people will think about your choice, or do you think only… Continue Reading…
One, Powerful Tool for Triggers
Triggers— an unavoidable consequence of chronic sexual betrayal—are emotionally and physically distressing. Triggers strike without warning and may become debilitating or develop into depression and isolation. Most partners I’ve worked with have changed at least some of their daily routines and habits due to the painful impact of triggers brought on by sexual betrayal. In the first 6 to 9 months… Continue Reading…
Partners, Addicts & Empathy
I heard a beautiful story the other day that reminded me of the power of empathy in relationships impacted by sex addiction. An addict with several years of sobriety—in recovery for more than 10 years—came home from his weekly meeting with his sponsor. He’s been working through the 12 steps again, and was finishing his work on Step 9—Made direct amends to… Continue Reading…
Pause, Reflect, and Celebrate!
This past Monday I was in the gym where I’ve worked out every Monday morning for the past 5 years. You could tell without even looking at the calendar that it was January — the gym was more crowded than usual. The New Year is the season of resolutions, goals, and re-commitments. If you want to maximize the… Continue Reading…
Interview with Patricia Raskin | VoiceAmerica
Earlier today I was interviewed by Patricia Raskin of VoiceAmerica’s The Patricia Raskin Show. Patricia asked some great questions, and we talked about what every partner needs to know immediately following discovery or disclosure, whether partners are “co-sex addicts” or “co-addicts,” and the 5-Step Boundary Solution process I present in my book Moving Beyond Betrayal: The… Continue Reading…
Give Back the Shame
Let’s face it, of all the out-of-control, compulsive, addictive behaviors to struggle with, sex addiction is by far the most shameful. Alcoholics Anonymous was founded over 81 years ago, and today it’s practically a badge of honor to admit that you’re a recovering alcoholic or drug addict. But not for sex addicts. Using words like “pervert”… Continue Reading…