Boundaries—the foundation of safety and protection—are vital to anyone who has survived betrayal trauma. And the most powerful boundaries are those that are non-negotiable. Non-negotiable boundaries are: Something you must have or something you can’t tolerate in order to stay in a relationship. Non-negotiable boundaries are relationship deal-breakers. Survivors of betrayal trauma are eager to establish… Continue Reading…
Disclosure Self-Care for Partners [Part III]
[This article is Part 3 of a 3-part series for partners on how to practice self-care before, during, and after Formal Therapeutic Disclosure (FTD). If you haven’t read Parts 1 & 2, start here with Disclosure Self-Care for Partners [Part 1]] In Disclosure Self-Care for Partners Parts 1 & 2, we covered what you need to… Continue Reading…
Disclosure Self-Care for Partners [Part II]
[This article is Part 2 of a 3-part series for partners on how to practice self-care before, during, and after Formal Therapeutic Disclosure (FTD). If you haven’t read Part 1—Disclosure Self-Care for Partners [Part 1]—begin here.] In Disclosure Self-Care for Partners [Part 1], we covered what you need to know or do prior to the… Continue Reading…
Disclosure Self-Care for Partners [Part I]
Formal Therapeutic Disclosure (FTD) is a milestone for any couple who wants to rebuild their relationship after the devastation of chronic sexual betrayal. FTD—as experienced by partners of sex addicts—can be simultaneously terrifying, and greatly anticipated. On the one hand, partners look forward to getting information they need and deserve. On the other hand, they feel… Continue Reading…
5 Essentials for Healing
A few days ago, a partner in my Moving Beyond Betrayal Partner’s Boundaries Course asked me what are the most important things betrayed partners need to do to heal? What a great question. While it’s impossible to give a simple, cookie-cutter, one-size-fits-all answer, there are very specific actions partners can take, tools they can learn,… Continue Reading…
Are You Living from the Inside Out?
Do you spend more time wondering whether other people like—or love—you than asking whether or not you like—or love—them? When making decisions about what you wear, the kind of car you drive, where you live, or even where you go for dinner, do you consider first what other people will think about your choice, or do you think only… Continue Reading…
What to Tell the Children?
Most parents—whether they’ve been impacted by addiction or not—struggle to talk to their children about sex. The infamous “birds and bees” talk is the source of endless jokes and secret discomfort for parents who fear they haven’t done enough to educate their children about their bodies or human sexuality. So when addicts and their partners want to… Continue Reading…