Over the years, many betrayed partners have told me they need to know their spouse’s thoughts or fantasies about other people in order to heal or stay in their relationship. Some partners believed that they had a right to know their spouse’s every thought or fantasy. Several said that if their spouse had sexual thoughts… Continue Reading…
3 Biggest Mistakes Betrayed Partners Make When Creating Boundaries
To survive chronic sexual betrayal, one of the most important skills you must learn is effective boundary work. There are more benefits of understanding the way boundaries work than I can cover here, but a short list would include: Getting clarity about your needs and wants, and knowing how to get them met. Creating space… Continue Reading…
Welcome the New Year in 7 Simple Steps
I don’t know about you, but I’m ready to say good-bye to 2017! In just three days we will close the door on 2017 and a new door—2018—will open. Although most of us tend to resist change, there are times when we welcome the end of a season, a job, a relationship, or situation. Change… Continue Reading…
4 Anchors for Dark Times
In just 27 days on Thursday, December 21 (at 10:28 CST to be exact), the Northern Hemisphere of the Earth will experience the longest night—and shortest day—of the year, also known as the Winter Solstice. The darkest day of the year perfectly describes the internal, and often invisible, experience of survivors of betrayal trauma after… Continue Reading…
How Infidelity Feeds Self-Objectification [and What to Do About It]
![How Infidelity Feeds Self-Objectification [and What to Do About It]](https://i2.wp.com/vickitidwellpalmer.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/10/Declare-Your-Authentic-Beauty-2.png?fit=300%2C300&ssl=1)
Last night I hosted a free online presentation about how betrayed partners can use specific skills and tools to manage the inevitable triggers that go hand-in-hand with the discovery or disclosure of sexual betrayal. There were more than 70 partners in attendance, and when we got to the Q&A portion of the presentation, there were… Continue Reading…
Accountability is Sexy
Do you remember the last time you told your spouse that something they did wasn’t working for you? Or maybe you made a request for a minor change of behavior (like spending more time connecting and less time on devices), and you got a less than positive response? Sadly, this is more the norm than… Continue Reading…