A couple of months ago in one of my quarterly Clarity Circle Live Q&A Calls, a partner asked this excellent question: How do I know the difference between an intuition or paranoia? My husband is really trying, but I am struggling to trust him because he’s lied so well in the past … This partner… Continue Reading…
Reject Rejection
I don’t believe in rejection. Don’t get my wrong, I’ve experienced what most people think of as “rejection.” Not getting the job, the opportunity, or the guy. In fact, my high school sweetheart unceremoniously ended our 6-year relationship—and our engagement—over the phone. Ouch. But I don’t see it as a rejection. Rejection is defined as:… Continue Reading…
Should You Hire a Hacker or Learn Boundaries?
When you’re a therapist or coach specializing in working with people impacted by problems with sexuality or sexual issues, it’s inevitable that from time to time you get some—shall we say—interesting calls, texts, emails, and blog comments. A couple of weeks ago, I got this referral to a hacker: Hello, if you need a hacker… Continue Reading…
When Battling Infidelity, Choose a Worthy Opponent
I love this quote: Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle. No one is sure of the original author, but it’s been attributed to Philo of Alexandria, Plato, Ian MacLaren, and John Watson. Nonetheless, it’s a powerful message—especially for survivors of chronic infidelity or a spouse’s addiction. Betrayed partners fight a… Continue Reading…
4 Truths That Unite Couples After Infidelity
Wednesday night I had the privilege of attending a talk by Dan Rather about his most recent book, What Unites Us: Reflections on Patriotism. After a storied career spanning more than six decades, interviewing every president since Eisenhower, and anchoring the CBS Evening News for 24 years, it was encouraging to hear him say: If… Continue Reading…
Latest Podcast Interview: Thanks for Sharing Episode #60
I was honored to be interviewed by Jackie Pack and Jonathan Taylor on their Thanks for Sharing Podcast last week. Jackie and Jon welcome Vicki Tidwell Palmer, author of Moving Beyond Betrayal: The 5-Step Boundary Solution for Partners of Sex Addicts. Vicki, Jon and Jackie explore the nature and role of boundaries in recovery and… Continue Reading…
7 Signs You’re Being Gaslighted
Gaslighting is a term that comes from a 1944 movie called Gaslight. It’s a form of mental abuse where the victim is lied to—or the truth is otherwise distorted—for the purpose of causing the victim to doubt her own reality, memory, or perceptions. Gaslighting creates the fog of addiction, and perfectly describes what happens to betrayed… Continue Reading…