One of my favorite definitions of intimacy comes from the work of Pia Mellody. Pia defines intimacy as: The experience of knowing—and being known by—another person. We can know another person in many ways—intellectually, emotionally, physically, sexually, and spiritually. And intimacy can be experienced on each of these levels. Our boundaries determine how close we… Continue Reading…
The Politician (It’s Not What You Think)
Politicians, political operatives, and pundits are masters of the communication tool I want to introduce you to today. So many of the questions I receive from partners of sex addicts about communication problems with the addict can easily be addressed and resolved by learning—and using—this simple skill I call The Politician. Here’s an overview of scenarios where The Politician is your secret… Continue Reading…
Let Go of These 5 Things Before the New Year
I hope you’re having a wonderful holiday season! With the New Year fast approaching, I want to invite you to step into 2017 a little lighter — in your heart and soul. It’s a simple fact that in the first one to two years post-discovery or disclosure, partners of sex addicts carry a number of burdens:… Continue Reading…
Powerless—But Not Passive (6 Actions to Take)
Let’s face it—feeling powerless bites. There’s hardly anything as infuriating as the realization that you’re up against a problem or situation of some kind where there is absolutely nothing you can do to change it. Powerlessness will make you believe that there is nothing you can do, or worse, that you’re a victim. And when you see yourself as… Continue Reading…
7 Key Components of a “Therapeutic” Separation Agreement
(Please note: This article is intended for informational purposes only and should not be used as the primary or only source of guidance for instituting a period of therapeutic separation. Due to the complexity and variety of each individual case, consultation with a mental health treatment professional experienced in therapeutic separation is strongly recommended.) What is therapeutic separation? Therapeutic separation… Continue Reading…
Did I “Fail” if My Relationship Ends?
If you’ve been in a relationship that didn’t work out — and most of us have — you may feel like you failed. It’s common for people who go through divorce to feel as though they failed, or that their relationship was a failure. What if your relationship with the sex addict didn’t —or doesn’t — work… Continue Reading…
My Partner Ignored My Request—What Should I Do?
Happy Labor Day to my US and Canadian Friends! I was recently asked this question by a partner in my international online community (Partner’s Healing & Empowerment Online Forum): I made a request of my (sex addict) partner, and he never gave me answer. In the meantime, the requests I made have become requirements for… Continue Reading…