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Understanding Sobriety (and Couples Check-Ins) in “S” Recovery

August 24, 2016

sex addiction sobriety

One of the members of my Partner’s Healing & Empowerment Online Community recently asked a great question that I think many partners would like to know the answer to, so I decided to answer—and expand on the topic—here on the blog. The essence of the question was: When doing a weekly couples recovery check-in, what sobriety date… Continue Reading…

An Invitation From Grace

June 18, 2016

partner sex addict grace fathers day

On this eve of Father’s Day 2016, I want to deliver an invitation from grace. Merriam-Webster defines grace as: unmerited divine assistance given humans for their regeneration or sanctification Have you ever been the recipient of grace? Have you received blessings, advantage, or favor even when you didn’t “deserve” it? You can probably guess where I’m headed…. Continue Reading…

Taming Triggers Solution — Step 7

March 1, 2016

triggers partners sex addicts

Taming Triggers Solution Step 7: Tools for Unavoidable Triggers (This post is part 8 of an 8-part series on Taming Triggers Solution for partners of sex addicts and survivors of infidelity. If you haven’t already read the first seven posts, I highly recommend you begin here with Step 1 and complete the first six steps before proceeding to Step 7.)… Continue Reading…

Are You a Love Addict? 10 Questions to Ask

September 26, 2015

love addiction partners of sex addicts

Love addiction is a serious form of codependency where one person places such a high value on another person (partner, friend, family member, etc.) that the relationship becomes all consuming, and the primary focus of the love addict’s attention. In relationships impacted by love addiction, the love addict makes their partner their higher power. While… Continue Reading…

Non-Negotiable Boundaries

April 13, 2015

partner of sex addict nonnegotiable boundary

When you begin the process of identifying, creating, and maintaining boundaries, you’ll inevitably be introduced to the concept of non-negotiable boundaries. What is a “non-negotiable” boundary? By definition, a non-negotiable boundary is a boundary that is not open to discussion or modification. Another way to think of non-negotiable boundaries are that they’re something you must have… Continue Reading…

Doesn’t He Have to Want It [Recovery] for Himself?

March 29, 2015

AddictiveBehavior

As a betrayed partner, you want your unfaithful spouse to want to change . . . . from the inside out. Changing from the inside out means he wants to get better for himself — not because you, or anyone else, are breathing down his neck. You’d like to know that he would commit to changing… Continue Reading…

Requests, Demands & Ultimatums

January 21, 2015

requests demands and ultimatums

If you want to learn how to practice great self-care through using effective boundaries, you’ll need to understand the difference between requests, demands, and ultimatums. Let’s start with the formal, dictionary definitions: Request an act of asking politely or formally for something Demand a forceful statement in which you say that something must be done… Continue Reading…

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About Vicki

Vicki is the best-selling author of Moving Beyond Betrayal, host of the Beyond Bitchy Podcast: Mastering the Art of Boundaries, and blogger for Thriving After Betrayal blog, ranked one of the Top 15 Infidelity Blogs and Websites to Follow in 2019. Her latest project, unveiled on International Women’s Day 2020, is The Radiant Threefold Path | Return+Reclaim+Receive.  read more…

Moving Beyond Betrayal

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