One of the members of my Partner’s Healing & Empowerment Online Community recently asked a great question that I think many partners would like to know the answer to, so I decided to answer—and expand on the topic—here on the blog. The essence of the question was: When doing a weekly couples recovery check-in, what sobriety date… Continue Reading…
An Invitation From Grace
On this eve of Father’s Day 2016, I want to deliver an invitation from grace. Merriam-Webster defines grace as: unmerited divine assistance given humans for their regeneration or sanctification Have you ever been the recipient of grace? Have you received blessings, advantage, or favor even when you didn’t “deserve” it? You can probably guess where I’m headed…. Continue Reading…
Taming Triggers Solution — Step 7
Taming Triggers Solution Step 7: Tools for Unavoidable Triggers (This post is part 8 of an 8-part series on Taming Triggers Solution for partners of sex addicts and survivors of infidelity. If you haven’t already read the first seven posts, I highly recommend you begin here with Step 1 and complete the first six steps before proceeding to Step 7.)… Continue Reading…
Are You a Love Addict? 10 Questions to Ask
Love addiction is a serious form of codependency where one person places such a high value on another person (partner, friend, family member, etc.) that the relationship becomes all consuming, and the primary focus of the love addict’s attention. In relationships impacted by love addiction, the love addict makes their partner their higher power. While… Continue Reading…
Non-negotiable Boundaries
When you begin the process of identifying, creating, and maintaining boundaries, you’ll inevitably be introduced to the concept of non-negotiable boundaries. What is a “non-negotiable” boundary? By definition, a non-negotiable boundary is a boundary that is not open to discussion or modification. Another way to think of non-negotiable boundaries are that they’re something you must have… Continue Reading…
Doesn’t He Have to Want It [Recovery] for Himself?
As a partner, you want the sex addict in your life to want to change . . . . from the inside out. Changing from the inside out means he wants to get better for himself — not because you, or anyone else, are breathing down his neck. You’d like to know that he would commit… Continue Reading…
Requests, Demands & Ultimatums
If you want to learn how to practice great self-care through using effective boundaries, you’ll need to understand the difference between requests, demands, and ultimatums. Let’s start with the formal, dictionary definitions: Request an act of asking politely or formally for something Demand a forceful statement in which you say that something must be done… Continue Reading…