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Pause, Reflect, and Celebrate!

January 5, 2017

partner sex addict successThis past Monday I was in the gym where I’ve worked out every Monday morning for the past 5 years. You could tell without even looking at the calendar that it was January — the gym was more crowded than usual.

The New Year is the season of resolutions, goals, and re-commitments. If you want to maximize the chances that you’ll reach your destination, it’s absolutely necessary to have a vision of where you’d like to go. But it’s equally important to pause, reflect, and celebrate before moving on to a New Year.

Have you taken time to reflect on 2016 and identify all your wins and successes?

If you haven’t, I highly recommend you do. And if you need some motivation, here are 3 reasons to take time to pause, reflect, and celebrate!

1
Forgetfulness & Amnesia

Most people suffer from amnesia and forgetfulness when it comes to what they’ve accomplished or what’s going well in their life. There is something about the human mind that gets fixated on the negative. While it’s probably hard-wired into us to notice what’s not working in order to avoid danger, it’s equally important to train yourself to pay attention to what IS working.

To overcome the forgetfulness habit, review your 2016 calendar to identify everything that you would count as a win, a success — anything you feel happy and proud about.

2
Avoid The Gap

“The Gap” is a concept I learned from Dan Sullivan. Essentially, when you’re in The Gap, you’re comparing your present to the ideal future you envision for yourself — as opposed to comparing your present to your past. The simple truth is that we never reach our ideal future, just like we never reach the horizon or the North Star — and that’s okay.

The problem with The Gap is that it keeps you in a perpetual state of dissatisfaction and unhappiness. The simple practice of reflecting on your wins and how far you’ve come — comparing your present to your past — will elevate you up and out of The Gap.

3
Increase Your Confidence

When you review and write down your accomplishments for the year, you automatically feel more confident. And when you feel more confident, you increase your energy and enthusiasm about what you’ll accomplish next.

Take just 30 minutes in the next 2 days to sit down and write all of your wins, accomplishments, and successes in 2016. If you want to go even deeper, write down why this achievement is so important to you, and what any next steps might be.

What’s on your list?

 

 


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© Vicki Tidwell Palmer, LCSW (2017)

All submitted comments are subject to editing to protect confidentiality and maintain anonymity.

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Comments

  1. Julie W says

    January 5, 2017 at 11:46 am

    Thank you Vicki so much for the reminder to look at our positive accomplishments and successes from last year! I’m often feeling like I’m in a constant life cycle of not going anywhere, and stagnant. But when I looked at my successes; emotional, relational, weight loss or even going to the gym regularly, my view of the year changes. Instead of being one of the worst nightmarish year’s of my life, it becomes a seed and the beginning of something positive. No matter how painful the planting process was/is, I know that I will be okay, grow and eventually bloom. Again, thank you!

    • Vicki Tidwell Palmer says

      January 5, 2017 at 12:16 pm

      Thanks Julie, so glad the info was helpful!

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Vicki is the best-selling author of Moving Beyond Betrayal, host of the Beyond Bitchy Podcast: Mastering the Art of Boundaries, and blogger for Thriving After Betrayal blog, ranked one of the Top 15 Infidelity Blogs and Websites to Follow in 2019. Her latest project, unveiled on International Women’s Day 2020, is The Radiant Threefold Path | Return+Reclaim+Receive.  read more…

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