One of my favorite definitions of intimacy comes from the work of Pia Mellody. Pia defines intimacy as: The experience of knowing—and being known by—another person. We can know another person in many ways—intellectually, emotionally, physically, sexually, and spiritually. And intimacy can be experienced on each of these levels. Our boundaries determine how close we… Continue Reading…
Search Results for: separation
Fear + Powerlessness = Detachment
This final day before the 2016 U.S. Presidential Election feels like the right time to talk about detachment. Looking back at the 80+ articles I’ve written on my blog, the word detachment has only been used once. That’s not nearly enough! For readers here in the U.S., you know—and you may be feeling it yourself—that… Continue Reading…
Your Future is Not Your Past
In less than 6 weeks (May 10), my upcoming book Moving Beyond Betrayal: The 5-Step Boundary Solution for Partners of Sex Addicts will be released. It’s available now for pre-order on Amazon here. As you can imagine, I’m excited! The support the book has received from colleagues, clients, and friends has been truly heart-warming. Over the next… Continue Reading…
“No” Means “No”
I hope I’ve got your attention. This is a serious topic. Working with partners of sex addicts over the years, I’ve been truly disheartened by the number of times partners have shared with me that the sex addict in their life has been sexual with them without their permission. Non-consensual sexual touch (including intercourse) in… Continue Reading…
Creating Your Haven of Safety
One of the most basic human needs is the need for safety. Whether you’re conscious of it or not, you are continually scanning people, places, and situations to determine your relative level of safety. As a partner of a sex addict, you may feel that there is no safe place to turn. Much of what you assumed to… Continue Reading…