For a relationship impacted by betrayal to heal, the partner responsible for the betrayal must engage in certain trust-building and accountability actions. Accountability can include: Sharing passwords for bank, email, and phone accounts Reviewing bank, email, or phone accounts together as a couple Installing a tracking app on a personal cell phone to demonstrate transparency around… Continue Reading…
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“Slips” & Intimacy + 4 Tips for Addicts
One of my favorite definitions of intimacy comes from the work of Pia Mellody. Pia defines intimacy as: The experience of knowing—and being known by—another person. We can know another person in many ways—intellectually, emotionally, physically, sexually, and spiritually. And intimacy can be experienced on each of these levels. Our boundaries determine how close we… Continue Reading…
10 Holiday Self-Care Tips for Partners
Even in the best of times, holidays can be challenging. Family dynamics, pressure to conform to cultural, religious, or family norms, and the holiday culture of excess can leave you feeling anxious and stressed. And for betrayed partners, there are other challenges — often hidden — that make the holidays even more challenging, and painful…. Continue Reading…
7 Key Components of a “Therapeutic” Separation Agreement
(Please note: This article is intended for informational purposes only and should not be used as the primary or only source of guidance for instituting a period of therapeutic separation. Due to the complexity and variety of each individual case, consultation with a mental health treatment professional experienced in therapeutic separation is strongly recommended.) What is therapeutic separation? Therapeutic separation… Continue Reading…
Beginning Anew & Rebuilding Trust
With just 3 days left in 2015, it’s the perfect time to think about new beginnings. When your life has been shattered by the discovery of betrayal and infidelity, it’s easy to lose hope or think that you will always feel the way you do now. The good news is that this difficult time is just… Continue Reading…
A Partner’s Bill of Rights
If you’ve been living in the fog created by addiction, you may be questioning yourself and your reality. You may have been told you’re crazy, over-reacting or that your spouse’s behavior isn’t that bad. As the advertising industry and politicians know all too well—if you hear a message repeatedly you will begin to believe it…. Continue Reading…
Will I Ever Trust Again?
I hear this question from almost every betrayed partner. The simple answer is “yes.” You will trust again. However, you will likely never trust again the way you did pre-discovery, and that is not necessarily a bad thing. The difference between pre-discovery and post-discovery trust is that the source of trust will be based more on your… Continue Reading…