Sexually oriented businesses are intensely triggering to betrayed partners. Seeing a massage parlor, adult bookstore, strip club, or so-called modeling studio can bring on a panic attack. Partners often intentionally avoid driving or walking by one of these business establishments to manage their anxiety. While it’s completely understandable and natural to be triggered when being… Continue Reading…
Emotional Restitution [For Addicts] – Part 2
This article is the second of a 2-part series outlining an amends-making process for sex addicts, known as emotional restitution. Read Emotional Restitution [For Addicts] Part 1 here. The information is adapted from the work of Patrick Carnes, PhD as presented in his workbook, The 90-Day Prep, in the Recovery Start Kit: A 100-day Plan for Addiction Recovery. Part 5 Acknowledge Image… Continue Reading…
Emotional Restitution [For Addicts] – Part I
(This article is the first of a 2-part series outlining an amends-making process for sex addicts, known as emotional restitution. The information is adapted from the work of Patrick Carnes, PhD as presented in his workbook, The 90-Day Prep, in the Recovery Start Kit: A 100-day Plan for Addiction Recovery.) Restitution: the restoration of something lost or stolen to its… Continue Reading…
Release Resentment in 5 Steps
As a betrayed partner, there is no way to avoid the very human feeling of resentment. The dictionary definition of resentment is: “bitter indignation at having been treated unfairly” It is certainly unfair to be the victim of chronic sexual betrayal through no fault of your own. The definition of resentment I prefer is “victim anger“—a… Continue Reading…
5 Essentials for Healing
A few days ago, a partner in my Moving Beyond Betrayal Partner’s Boundaries Course asked me what are the most important things betrayed partners need to do to heal? What a great question. While it’s impossible to give a simple, cookie-cutter, one-size-fits-all answer, there are very specific actions partners can take, tools they can learn,… Continue Reading…
What to Tell the Children?
Most parents—whether they’ve been impacted by addiction or not—struggle to talk to their children about sex. The infamous “birds and bees” talk is the source of endless jokes and secret discomfort for parents who fear they haven’t done enough to educate their children about their bodies or human sexuality. So when addicts and their partners want to… Continue Reading…
5 Practices of Highly Accountable People
Let’s face it we’re all fallible. Sooner or later, we’re going to let someone down, fail to follow through, say one thing and do another, or just not show up. And that being the case, there’s one skill we all need when we’re simply human—and that’s accountability. Accountability is: the quality or state of being accountable; especially: … Continue Reading…