To survive chronic sexual betrayal, one of the most important skills you must learn is effective boundary work. There are more benefits of understanding the way boundaries work than I can cover here, but a short list would include: Getting clarity about your needs and wants, and knowing how to get them met. Creating space… Continue Reading…
Should You Hire a Hacker or Learn Boundaries?
When you’re a therapist or coach specializing in working with people impacted by problems with sexuality or sexual issues, it’s inevitable that from time to time you get some—shall we say—interesting calls, texts, emails, and blog comments. A couple of weeks ago, I got this referral to a hacker: Hello, if you need a hacker… Continue Reading…
When Your Spouse Won’t Talk About His Therapy
Over the years, I’ve heard from a number of betrayed partners that their spouse won’t share anything about his therapy, despite being asked how their session went or what he/she is working on. To be fair, there are some very good reasons for a person not to share everything they talk about in therapy, or… Continue Reading…
How Could He Love Me and Cheat?
If you’ve been betrayed—especially more than once—chances are you’ve asked this exact question. I’ve heard it so many times I wonder why I haven’t written about it on the blog before now. It makes perfect sense that in the middle of pain, heartache, and disappointment a betrayed partner would think, If he loved me, he… Continue Reading…
Are You Codependent?
I love when blog readers and subscribers ask me to write on a topic that’s of interest to them. One blog subscriber recently asked me to talk about codependency. She was feeling confused about codependency because on the one hand she relates to the concept, but other partners she knows say they don’t. She had… Continue Reading…
Is Your Partner Holding You Accountable, or Just Taking Your Inventory?
Since it’s the start of a brand new year, what better time to talk about accountability! Accountability is: the fact or condition of being accountable; responsibility Being accountable—or taking responsibility for your actions—is a core relationship skill, second only to being truthful and honest. A member of my Survive & Thrive Online Community recently asked me… Continue Reading…
Welcome the New Year in 7 Simple Steps
I don’t know about you, but I’m ready to say good-bye to 2017! In just three days we will close the door on 2017 and a new door—2018—will open. Although most of us tend to resist change, there are times when we welcome the end of a season, a job, a relationship, or situation. Change… Continue Reading…