I don’t know about you, but I did not learn the kind of healthy intimacy skills that sustain long-term relationships when I was growing up. Although I sincerely believe my parents were doing the very best they could, they married and divorced each other twice during my childhood — unintentionally leaving a void where a… Continue Reading…
Do Unfaithful Spouses Deserve Respect?
Do unfaithful spouses deserve respect? If your immediate response is “Not a chance,” my mission is to change your mind in the few minutes it will take to read this article. Why? Because, as my mentor Pia Mellody is fond of saying: Respect is the minimum of love Yes, that’s right. Even when you’ve been… Continue Reading…
The Daily Transparency: A Tool for Rebuilding Trust
Every now and then a new tool for recovery and trust-building comes along, and I’m pleased to introduce you to one today! As you know, deception is one of the hallmarks of addictive behavior. And to make matters worse, if a person who struggles with addiction grew up in a family where lying and deception… Continue Reading…
Extreme Accountability
Have you ever committed to something but didn’t follow through? Did you promise something that you didn’t deliver? Have you ever told yourself, “I’m going to do _____________,” or “I’m going to stop doing ___________,” but you didn’t? Of course, we all have. And when we don’t follow through with a commitment–to ourselves or others—we… Continue Reading…
4 Ways Your Boundaries Help Your Loved Ones
Did you know that your boundaries actually help your loved ones? It’s true. If you’ve ever tried to set boundaries with someone, you were probably on the receiving end of exasperated sighs, eye-rolls, complaining, pushback, or maybe even outright hostility. These types of responses — or reactions— may have caused you to think you were… Continue Reading…
When Your Spouse Objectifies in Public [Part 2]
In Part I of When Your Spouse Objectifies in Public, I talked about the painful experience many betrayed partners face when they are out in public with their spouse, and they have the perception that their spouse is objectifying other people. (If you haven’t read Part I, get the whole article here.) Here in Part… Continue Reading…
Is There Hope for Couples Long-Term?
Over the years, many betrayed partners have asked me: Is it really possible for a couple to survive chronic betrayal long-term? Or a partner will send me an email desperately wanting to know if there is hope. She may ask if I know a partner who is still in her marriage that she can connect… Continue Reading…