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Vicki Tidwell Palmer

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Do Unfaithful Spouses Deserve Respect?

September 2, 2019

Do unfaithful spouses deserve respect? If your immediate response is “Not a chance,” my mission is to change your mind in the few minutes it will take to read this article. Why? Because, as my mentor Pia Mellody is fond of saying: Respect is the minimum of love Yes, that’s right. Even when you’ve been… Continue Reading…

The Daily Transparency: A Tool for Rebuilding Trust

August 23, 2019

Every now and then a new tool for recovery and trust-building comes along, and I’m pleased to introduce you to one today! As you know, deception is one of the hallmarks of addictive behavior. And to make matters worse, if a person who struggles with addiction grew up in a family where lying and deception… Continue Reading…

Extreme Accountability

August 9, 2019

Extreme Accountability

Have you ever committed to something but didn’t follow through? Did you promise something that you didn’t deliver? Have you ever told yourself, “I’m going to do _____________,” or “I’m going to stop doing ___________,” but you didn’t? Of course, we all have. And when we don’t follow through with a commitment–to ourselves or others—we… Continue Reading…

The Invisible Costs of Betrayal

May 6, 2019

Invisible Cost of Betrayal

Every betrayed partner knows that discovery, disclosure, and healing from chronic infidelity come at a cost. The shock, pain, and devastation of betrayal are immense, and their impact reverberates in every area of a partner’s life — including her physical health, her trust in her reality or thoughts, her emotional stability, and her spiritual life…. Continue Reading…

Is It Intuition or Paranoia?

March 6, 2019

A couple of months ago in one of my quarterly Clarity Circle Live Q&A Calls, a partner asked this excellent question: How do I know the difference between an intuition or paranoia? My husband is really trying, but I am struggling to trust him because he’s lied so well in the past … This partner… Continue Reading…

Your Roadmap for Healing [Part 2]

February 22, 2019

Roadmap

After my last post, It All Starts with Self-Care, a blog follower wanted to know whether a one-time affair is the same as sex addiction, and what to do when you’re facing an affair — what are the steps to take both individually and as a couple? I get questions like these all the time…. Continue Reading…

It All Starts With Self-Care

February 19, 2019

Thanks for your comments on the blog from my last post, Your Roadmap for Healing! Linda described so well what many betrayed partners experience as they search for answers at the beginning their journey: I am so grateful that you are setting forth the map to recovery in black and white. For me, I experienced… Continue Reading…

Your Roadmap For Healing

February 17, 2019

If I were to tell you that there is a roadmap out of the insanity, chaos, and despair of betrayal would you want it for yourself? I hope so, because you are 100% worth it — and more. When you, as a betrayed partner, have a roadmap for healing, these are just a few of… Continue Reading…

Give Yourself the Gift of Self-Love on Valentine’s Day

February 13, 2019

Are you dreading Valentine’s Day or just trying to ignore it and hope that it passes as soon as possible? You’re not alone. I have rarely met a woman who truly enjoys and looks forward to Valentine’s Day. Most of us — even before betrayal or addiction entered our lives — have endured painful and… Continue Reading…

A Boundary Without an Agreement is Not a Boundary

February 7, 2019

Over the years, I’ve heard so many stories of betrayed partners who were told that the way for them to create boundaries was to sit down and make a list of boundaries to present to their unfaithful spouse. Believing that this was the way to create boundaries, she (or he) did what she was told,… Continue Reading…

4 Ways Your Boundaries Help Your Loved Ones

January 14, 2019

Did you know that your boundaries actually help your loved ones? It’s true. If you’ve ever tried to set boundaries with someone, you were probably on the receiving end of exasperated sighs, eye-rolls, complaining, pushback, or maybe even outright hostility. These types of responses — or reactions— may have caused you to think you were… Continue Reading…

When Your Spouse Objectifies in Public [Part 2]

October 16, 2018

when spouse objectifies

In Part I of When Your Spouse Objectifies in Public, I talked about the painful experience many betrayed partners face when they are out in public with their spouse, and they have the perception that their spouse is objectifying other people. (If you haven’t read Part I,  get the whole article here.) Here in Part… Continue Reading…

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About Vicki Tidwell Palmer LCSW, CSAT, SEP


Vicki is the #1 best-selling author of Moving Beyond Betrayal: The 5-Step Boundary Solution for Partners of Sex Addicts and host of the Beyond Bitchy Podcast: Mastering the Art of Boundaries. She is a blogger, workshop presenter, speaker, and psychotherapist in private practice. Vicki is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, Certified Sex Addiction Therapist, and Somatic Experiencing® Practitioner. read more…

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Recent Posts

  • Time to Thrive
  • Life Can Only Be Found in the Present Moment
  • Healing Begins With You
  • An Open Letter to Betrayed Male Partners
  • 5 Ways to Deprive the Past of Oxygen

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