Over the years, I’ve heard so many stories of betrayed partners who were told that the way for them to create boundaries was to sit down and make a list of boundaries to present to their unfaithful spouse. Believing that this was the way to create boundaries, she (or he) did what she was told,… Continue Reading…
4 Ways Your Boundaries Help Your Loved Ones
Did you know that your boundaries actually help your loved ones? It’s true. If you’ve ever tried to set boundaries with someone, you were probably on the receiving end of exasperated sighs, eye-rolls, complaining, pushback, or maybe even outright hostility. These types of responses — or reactions— may have caused you to think you were… Continue Reading…
When Your Spouse Objectifies in Public [Part 2]
In Part I of When Your Spouse Objectifies in Public, I talked about the painful experience many betrayed partners face when they are out in public with their spouse, and they have the perception that their spouse is objectifying other people. (If you haven’t read Part I, get the whole article here.) Here in Part… Continue Reading…
Women, I Know Why You Didn’t Tell
Last Wednesday, the day before Dr. Christine Blasey Ford testified before the Senate Judiciary Committee regarding Judge Brett Kavanaugh’s nomination to the U.S. Supreme Court, I recorded today’s podcast episode: Women, I Know Why You Didn’t Tell. Women of all ages, races, religions, and political affiliations are sexually harassed, assaulted, and abused every day. And… Continue Reading…
Is There Hope for Couples Long-Term?
Over the years, many betrayed partners have asked me: Is it really possible for a couple to survive chronic betrayal long-term? Or a partner will send me an email desperately wanting to know if there is hope. She may ask if I know a partner who is still in her marriage that she can connect… Continue Reading…
When Your Spouse Objectifies in Public [Part I]
(This article is part one of a two-part series about what to do when you perceive that your spouse is objectifying others in public.) One of the most painful—yet common—experiences for a betrayed partner is when she has the feeling or perception that her spouse is objectifying other people when she’s with him in public…. Continue Reading…
Do These 7 Things Before Ending Therapeutic Separation
In my article, 7 Key Components of a “Therapeutic” Separation Agreement, I covered the key elements that should be included in any therapeutic separation agreement. The 7 components are: Length of separation Who will leave the home Access to the home Communication Household/childcare matters Goals for reintegration Post-reintegration agreements While each of these is vital… Continue Reading…
5 Signs It May Be an Emotional Affair
A blog follower recently left a comment on my article, Turning Complaints Into Requests, asking me to define “emotional affair.” It’s a good question. You may have a sense that you know an emotional affair when you see one, but couples sometimes disagree about whether or not a certain relationship was—or is—an emotional affair. Betrayed partners… Continue Reading…
Sheri Winston’s 4-Step “Beautiful Boundaries” Process
I had the privilege of interviewing award-winning author and Wholistic Sexuality teacher Sheri Winston on the Beyond Bitchy Podcast last week. The topic was Yes, No & Maybe: Sexual Boundaries for Women. If you haven’t had a chance to listen to the episode, you can tune in here. Sheri and I discovered after we connected several months… Continue Reading…
What to Do When You Despair
If you’ve experienced chronic sexual betrayal or you’re feeling disoriented, as if there is no firm foundation underneath you, it is all too easy to fall into despair. Despair is defined as: The complete loss or absence of hope. Despair can also be thought of as an intense form of pain or sadness. Being in… Continue Reading…
Is There Hope After Betrayal?
Betrayed partners often want to know whether there is hope after long-term sexual betrayal. Hope is defined as: a feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen. It’s interesting to note that the archaic definition of hope is: a feeling of trust. While all betrayed partners might not agree about what they expect… Continue Reading…
Sharing Thoughts & Fantasies
Over the years, many betrayed partners have told me they need to know their spouse’s thoughts or fantasies about other people in order to heal or stay in their relationship. Some partners believed that they had a right to know their spouse’s every thought or fantasy. Several said that if their spouse had sexual thoughts… Continue Reading…