[This article is the fourth in a 7-part series on the Six Intimacy Skills™️. Read the first article here.] Relinquishing inappropriate control is the third of the Six Intimacy Skills (SIS), and is one of the most difficult of the SIS to practice. Relinquishing control requires the consistent ability to refrain from habitual, ingrained and… Continue Reading…
Respect: The #2 Skill for Building Intimacy
[This article is the third in a 7-part series on the Six Intimacy Skills™️. Read the first article here.] Before discussing why respect is an intimacy skill, it’s helpful to start with a definition. Here are two definitions of respect: a feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or… Continue Reading…
Self-Care: The #1 Skill for Building Intimacy
[This article is the second in a 7-part series on the Six Intimacy Skills™️. Read the first article here.] Self-care is a fundamental life and relationship skill that every person must understand and practice. At its most basic level, self-care is about attending to your physical, intellectual, emotional, and spiritual needs, and is the first… Continue Reading…
Six Intimacy Skills Every Woman Needs
[This article is the first in a 7-part series on the Six Intimacy Skills™️.] I don’t know about you, but I did not learn the kind of healthy intimacy skills that sustain long-term relationships when I was growing up. Although I sincerely believe my parents were doing the very best they could, they married and… Continue Reading…
Do Unfaithful Spouses Deserve Respect?
Do unfaithful spouses deserve respect? If your immediate response is “Not a chance,” my mission is to change your mind in the few minutes it will take to read this article. Why? Because, as my mentor Pia Mellody is fond of saying: Respect is the minimum of love Yes, that’s right. Even when you’ve been… Continue Reading…
The Daily Transparency: A Tool for Rebuilding Trust
Every now and then a new tool for recovery and trust-building comes along, and I’m pleased to introduce you to one today! As you know, deception is one of the hallmarks of addictive behavior. And to make matters worse, if a person who struggles with addiction grew up in a family where lying and deception… Continue Reading…
Extreme Accountability
Have you ever committed to something but didn’t follow through? Did you promise something that you didn’t deliver? Have you ever told yourself, “I’m going to do _____________,” or “I’m going to stop doing ___________,” but you didn’t? Of course, we all have. And when we don’t follow through with a commitment–to ourselves or others—we… Continue Reading…
The Invisible Costs of Betrayal
Every betrayed partner knows that discovery, disclosure, and healing from chronic infidelity come at a cost. The shock, pain, and devastation of betrayal are immense, and their impact reverberates in every area of a partner’s life — including her physical health, her trust in her reality or thoughts, her emotional stability, and her spiritual life…. Continue Reading…
Is It Intuition or Paranoia?
A couple of months ago in one of my quarterly Clarity Circle Live Q&A Calls, a partner asked this excellent question: How do I know the difference between an intuition or paranoia? My husband is really trying, but I am struggling to trust him because he’s lied so well in the past … This partner… Continue Reading…
Your Roadmap for Healing [Part 2]
After my last post, It All Starts with Self-Care, a blog follower wanted to know whether a one-time affair is the same as sex addiction, and what to do when you’re facing an affair — what are the steps to take both individually and as a couple? I get questions like these all the time…. Continue Reading…
It All Starts With Self-Care
Thanks for your comments on the blog from my last post, Your Roadmap for Healing! Linda described so well what many betrayed partners experience as they search for answers at the beginning their journey: I am so grateful that you are setting forth the map to recovery in black and white. For me, I experienced… Continue Reading…
Your Roadmap For Healing
If I were to tell you that there is a roadmap out of the insanity, chaos, and despair of betrayal would you want it for yourself? I hope so, because you are 100% worth it — and more. When you, as a betrayed partner, have a roadmap for healing, these are just a few of… Continue Reading…