Discovering that you’ve been betrayed or deceived is devastating. Discovery is disorienting, and creates feelings of uncertainty about yourself, your spouse, and your life. To make sense of the new information you’ve received and to seek a sense of safety, some of the most common activities partners engage in immediately after discovery are: Searching phone… Continue Reading…
Refocus Your View With Gratitude: The #6 Skill for Building Intimacy
[This is the seventh, and final, article of a 7-part series on the Six Intimacy Skills™️ by Laura Doyle. Read the first article here.] The sixth of the Six Intimacy Skills™ is refocusing your view with gratitude. Gratitude is defined as: the quality of being thankful; readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness…. Continue Reading…
Vulnerability: The #5 Skill for Building Intimacy
[This article is the sixth in a 7-part series on the Six Intimacy Skills™️ by Laura Doyle. Read the first article here.] The fifth of the Six Intimacy Skills™ is revealing your heart with vulnerability. Vulnerability is defined as: the quality or state of being exposed to the possibility of being attacked or harmed, either… Continue Reading…
Receiving Graciously: The #4 Skill for Building Intimacy
[This article is the fifth in a 7-part series on the Six Intimacy Skills™️ by Laura Doyle. Read the first article here.] Since we’re now in the full swing of the holiday season, it’s the perfect time to talk about receiving graciously! Why is receiving graciously an intimacy skill? Think back to a time when… Continue Reading…
Relinquish Inappropriate Control: The #3 Skill for Building Intimacy
[This article is the fourth in a 7-part series on the Six Intimacy Skills™️ by Laura Doyle. Read the first article here.] Relinquishing inappropriate control is the third of the Six Intimacy Skills (SIS), and is one of the most difficult of the SIS to practice. Relinquishing control requires the consistent ability to refrain from… Continue Reading…
Respect: The #2 Skill for Building Intimacy
[This article is the third in a 7-part series on the Six Intimacy Skills™️ by Laura Doyle. Read the first article here.] Before discussing why respect is an intimacy skill, it’s helpful to start with a definition. Here are two definitions of respect: a feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their… Continue Reading…
Self-Care: The #1 Skill for Building Intimacy
[This article is the second in a 7-part series on the Six Intimacy Skills™️ by Laura Doyle. Read the first article here.] Self-care is a fundamental life and relationship skill that every person must understand and practice. At its most basic level, self-care is about attending to your physical, intellectual, emotional, and spiritual needs, and… Continue Reading…
Six Intimacy Skills Every Woman Needs
[This article is the first in a 7-part series on the Six Intimacy Skills™️ by Laura Doyle.] I don’t know about you, but I did not learn the kind of healthy intimacy skills that sustain long-term relationships when I was growing up. Although I sincerely believe my parents were doing the very best they could,… Continue Reading…
Do Unfaithful Spouses Deserve Respect?
Do unfaithful spouses deserve respect? If your immediate response is “Not a chance,” my mission is to change your mind in the few minutes it will take to read this article. Why? Because, as my mentor Pia Mellody is fond of saying: Respect is the minimum of love Yes, that’s right. Even when you’ve been… Continue Reading…
The Daily Transparency: A Tool for Rebuilding Trust
Every now and then a new tool for recovery and trust-building comes along, and I’m pleased to introduce you to one today! As you know, deception is one of the hallmarks of addictive behavior. And to make matters worse, if a person who struggles with addiction grew up in a family where lying and deception… Continue Reading…
Extreme Accountability
Have you ever committed to something but didn’t follow through? Did you promise something that you didn’t deliver? Have you ever told yourself, “I’m going to do _____________,” or “I’m going to stop doing ___________,” but you didn’t? Of course, we all have. And when we don’t follow through with a commitment–to ourselves or others—we… Continue Reading…
The Invisible Costs of Betrayal
Every betrayed partner knows that discovery, disclosure, and healing from chronic infidelity come at a cost. The shock, pain, and devastation of betrayal are immense, and their impact reverberates in every area of a partner’s life — including her physical health, her trust in her reality or thoughts, her emotional stability, and her spiritual life…. Continue Reading…