A couple of months ago in one of my quarterly Clarity Circle Live Q&A Calls, a partner asked this excellent question: How do I know the difference between an intuition or paranoia? My husband is really trying, but I am struggling to trust him because he’s lied so well in the past … This partner… Continue Reading…
Your Roadmap for Healing [Part 2]
After my last post, It All Starts with Self-Care, a blog follower wanted to know whether a one-time affair is the same as sex addiction, and what to do when you’re facing an affair — what are the steps to take both individually and as a couple? I get questions like these all the time…. Continue Reading…
It All Starts With Self-Care
Thanks for your comments on the blog from my last post, Your Roadmap for Healing! Linda described so well what many betrayed partners experience as they search for answers at the beginning their journey: I am so grateful that you are setting forth the map to recovery in black and white. For me, I experienced… Continue Reading…
Your Roadmap For Healing
If I were to tell you that there is a roadmap out of the insanity, chaos, and despair of betrayal would you want it for yourself? I hope so, because you are 100% worth it — and more. When you, as a betrayed partner, have a roadmap for healing, these are just a few of… Continue Reading…
Give Yourself the Gift of Self-Love on Valentine’s Day
Are you dreading Valentine’s Day or just trying to ignore it and hope that it passes as soon as possible? You’re not alone. I have rarely met a woman who truly enjoys and looks forward to Valentine’s Day. Most of us — even before betrayal or addiction entered our lives — have endured painful and… Continue Reading…
A Boundary Without an Agreement is Not a Boundary
Over the years, I’ve heard so many stories of betrayed partners who were told that the way for them to create boundaries was to sit down and make a list of boundaries to present to their unfaithful spouse. Believing that this was the way to create boundaries, she (or he) did what she was told,… Continue Reading…
4 Ways Your Boundaries Help Your Loved Ones
Did you know that your boundaries actually help your loved ones? It’s true. If you’ve ever tried to set boundaries with someone, you were probably on the receiving end of exasperated sighs, eye-rolls, complaining, pushback, or maybe even outright hostility. These types of responses — or reactions— may have caused you to think you were… Continue Reading…
When Your Spouse Objectifies in Public [Part 2]
In Part I of When Your Spouse Objectifies in Public, I talked about the painful experience many betrayed partners face when they are out in public with their spouse, and they have the perception that their spouse is objectifying other people. (If you haven’t read Part I, get the whole article here.) Here in Part… Continue Reading…
Women, I Know Why You Didn’t Tell
Last Wednesday, the day before Dr. Christine Blasey Ford testified before the Senate Judiciary Committee regarding Judge Brett Kavanaugh’s nomination to the U.S. Supreme Court, I recorded today’s podcast episode: Women, I Know Why You Didn’t Tell. Women of all ages, races, religions, and political affiliations are sexually harassed, assaulted, and abused every day. And… Continue Reading…
Is There Hope for Couples Long-Term?
Over the years, many betrayed partners have asked me: Is it really possible for a couple to survive chronic betrayal long-term? Or a partner will send me an email desperately wanting to know if there is hope. She may ask if I know a partner who is still in her marriage that she can connect… Continue Reading…
When Your Spouse Objectifies in Public [Part I]
(This article is part one of a two-part series about what to do when you perceive that your spouse is objectifying others in public.) One of the most painful—yet common—experiences for a betrayed partner is when she has the feeling or perception that her spouse is objectifying other people when she’s with him in public…. Continue Reading…
Do These 7 Things Before Ending Therapeutic Separation
In my article, 7 Key Components of a “Therapeutic” Separation Agreement, I covered the key elements that should be included in any therapeutic separation agreement. The 7 components are: Length of separation Who will leave the home Access to the home Communication Household/childcare matters Goals for reintegration Post-reintegration agreements While each of these is vital… Continue Reading…